


Sickeningly Warm

by Zainie



Category: My Candy Love
Genre: Angst, Crying, Depression, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Hand Jobs, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Romance, Rough Kissing, Sexual Content, Skipping Class, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, everyones over 18 bc we stan consenting adults
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 08:55:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13520850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zainie/pseuds/Zainie
Summary: "I loved a girl who didn't love herself, even though it broke my heart."This gets real angsty real fast so be warned.





	1. Overthinking

**Author's Note:**

> This has been on my mind of a couple of days now. First time posting here some things might no be right lmao. Heavy smut in the next chap whoops.

Skipping class was quickly becoming second nature to her. Zainie could only stand so much of this constant smiling she was known for. And after all, how could she let this beautiful afternoon go to waste?

She had perfected the routine at this point. Slip out during the chaos of passing period, away to a little corner of the school, right in-between the gym and a garden shed. It being used exclusively for make out sessions or drug deals. 

The teen always kept a spare sweater in her locker. Claiming it was for if she got cold, but at this point it was almost exclusively used as a pillow. Bunching the grass stained cloth into a comfortable ball, she slipped it under her head and brought her headphones up to her ears. Keeping the music as low as possible, she liked to hear the things around her. Not only for safety, but for comfort. She found if she drifted too far away it was hard to come back. 

So she listened. To the soft music. To the occasional bell. To the wind, picking up dead leaves and dragging them across cold pavement. And to her thoughts.

Usually, skipping class meant napping. Although, she couldn’t calm her mind, no matter what she did. It seemed like everything in her life was going perfectly for once. Yet, here she was. Ditching for the third time this week, struggling to hold off tears. Knowing she had to go back to classes at some point, she fought off the urge to sob into her sweater. But she couldn’t fight the tears. She let them flow down her temples and into her hair. Feeling the chilling breeze against her now wet face.

She thought of high school ending. Even though it was far off, it was closer than ever. Her plan came to mind. It wasn’t that of college or jobs. But of suicide. It was in her sights since she was 15. She was meant to come to this school, do her time, take her classes and then off herself. But it got complicated. As things do.

She made friends. She made dumb high school memories. She had someone who was in love with her. Not being able to fight it off any longer, the image of Kentin came mind. Tears flowed harder. It was never meant to happen like this. She was suppose to go out with hurting as little people as possible. Her eyebrows began to furrow, nose beginning to run. Why did she decide that a cold November day was a good time to skip?

Sitting up she started gathering her things. Self deprecating thoughts flew in like missiles. ‘Just like me to turn a relaxing moment into a pity party. I’m so fucking stupid.’ Tears only seemed to increase, coming in like a flood gate was opened up.

“Going somewhere?” A voice rang out behind her, stopping her dead in her tracks. A teacher? Should she bolt? She knew she would never get away. While she may be fast, there was only one pink haired girl in school. Busted.

Peeking over her shoulder she saw a mess of fluffy brown hair accompanied with a dopey smile. 'Kentin. Of course. Just my luck.’ She turned back around, still having her back towards him. Wiping her eyes and nose with her sleeve, knowing it would only make them more red, but she was in a panic.

“Mind if I join? Was getting way too stuffy in there.” He plopped down beside her, stretching out his long limbs with a sigh. Unable to speak, for fear that her voice would fail her. Unable to face him, for fear he would see her tears. So, she opted for a soft ‘mhm’, even though she was begging to god for him to leave.

He laid on his back, starring up at the overcast sky with his hands behind his head. Zainie was still sitting up, hunching over her backpack, staring at the concrete wall of the gym exterior beside her. He didn’t seem to notice anything was off. Yet. He started to ramble on about an english test he has to retake. Or was it a math packet he had to turn in? She could barely comprehend his words, only focusing on willing the tears in her eyes to stop coming. Having him next to her, his warming embrace just inches away. Thoughts of their late nights together rushed in. Memories of breathy moans and aching pleas. It crushed her.

They were each others firsts. And although it was consensual, the love aspect was one sided. He loved her, more than she could comprehend. And she didn’t want to die a virgin. She knew it was cruel, yes. But with the looming idea of her death, and an attractive boy at her side, she wasn’t thinking straight.

Their relationship began a few months after he got back from military school. Zainie realized that there may never be another chance at having a lover, so she took the first step. It’s been 4 months since then and she knew there was not going to be a good way out of this. She loved him, of course. Just not in the way he wanted. So she avoided it. He had brought up the idea of them making it official more times than she could count, but had always brushed it off. She thought maybe, deep down, he knew she didn’t love him. But that he kept trying, because what if?

A hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality, sadly. She turned to face Kentin, immediately recognizing her mistake. 

“Hey, whoa, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He was sitting up now, their thighs touching, sharing each others warmth. Zainie felt sick to her stomach. 

He wrapped his jacket around her, along with his arms. She sobbed into his shoulder, not holding anything back now. His embrace was so sickeningly warm and comforting. She knew she didn’t deserve to be in his arms. While she was letting him see a side of her that no one had seen, he stayed by her side. Of course, he had no idea what this outburst could be about, he didn’t care. He kissed her head and whispered reassurance into her ear. Not once letting his grip on her loosen. 

She was beginning to calm down, which meant bad news for her. She knew Kentin, and being the amazing and kind guy that he is, would ask her what was wrong. And she knew that she couldn’t take another second of looking into his eyes and lying to him yet again. So she kissed him.


	2. Unloving Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling this fic way too much. A ton of kissing and foreplay in this chap. Also so many teen insecurities it hurts. Good stuff in the next chap, scouts honor ;3c

So, she kissed him.

Obviously taken off guard, Kentin froze. One moment, the girl he adored was sobbing into his chest. Now she was kissing him. It pained him to do so but he pulled back. Zainie wasn’t thinking straight. He knew she was overwhelmed, with what, he could only guess. He didn’t want to take advantage of her when she was in this kind of state. And it infuriated her.

He looked into her glossy eyes, hoping to find some kind of hint to this odd behavior.

“W-what’s up with you? Let’s talk, please. It hurts to see you like this.” He was being painstakingly honest. Which only annoyed her further. He couldn’t imagine what was going through her head, but deep down, he was the tiniest bit happy. Zainie had been the type to brush off her own problems to help those that she loved. He had never seen anything less than a pout on her face. Nor had he ever heard stories of her family or life before they met. So when he saw the girl he loved with a tear stained face he thought that maybe, finally, she was beginning to open up to him. 

But it couldn’t be further from the truth. To Zainie, this was only her protecting her heart further, closing herself off more. She knew she was playing with his feelings, but she couldn’t stop. How could she when this was the first time in her life that she felt someone had actually, truly loved her. She longed to feel even an inkling of love. Not caring who it came from at this point.

“I don’t want to talk. Please.” Her voice was filled with desperation, and he could tell. She had leaned forward yet again and brought her mouth to his neck. Being able to feel his warmth on her lips, feeling a shudder run through him, feeling his heartbeat quicken. It made her feel alive in a sick, twisted way. She became bolder in her attack. The flustered boy was now on his back again, propping himself up on his elbows, looking up at an overcast sky. Zainie had crawled on top of him, one arm holding herself up, another roaming his body.

A cold hand ran over him, hungrily searching for something. Anything. One moment it was on his cheek, making small, loving circles. The next, it was trailing down his side. He shuddered yet again. He tried to interject, but all attempts were in vain. Slowly, the thought of her crying was fading from his mind. He knew she was in pain, and if this is what he could do to make her feel even a little bit better, then he would gladly do so. All he could focus on was the petite girls lips attached to his neck. Biting. Sucking. Kissing. Moaning. She threw herself into sex. Her problems started to drift away, her one goal, her only thought right now, was him.

Her hand had wandered to the hem of his shirt. She slowly wormed her way to his stomach, aching to have some kind of skin to skin contact. Military school had done wonders to him. Not only to his personality, but his body as well. She ran her hand over the ridges of his toned stomach, feeling him tense up. She frowned, knowing it was because of her freezing hands. From his skin, to his smile, to his whole being. Kentin was always so warm. It was a wonder she didn’t see steam coming off him on a cold day like this. 

At this point he was one more kiss, one more lingering touch from going insane. Knowing Zainie, if he hadn’t taken over, they’d be here for hours. He snaked his arm around her waist, flipping both of them over in one flawless motion. Well… flawless in theory. In reality, she had bumped her head against the cold concrete wall beside her. He didn’t notice, so she dropped it as well. She would have cursed herself if she interrupted this dominant side of himself. It was rare that he took control. Maybe he pitied her. Maybe he felt a sense of protection in seeing her cry. Whatever it was, she wasn’t one to stop it. For once she wasn’t going to be the one doing all the work.

He smashed his lips to hers, teeth clacking in a painfully awkward way. One of his hands was in her hair, toying with the short pink curls, admiring its softness. The other was on her outer thigh. Quickly moving upward. Her thighs. Her hips. Her waist. Her chest. Her. He took it all in, savoring it as if this was the last time they would be together. She thought it was cute. He fucked like it was their last day on earth. Like it was their first time. Every time. Zainie thought it was because he was so enamored with her. And while that was true, deep down it was because he was still insecure. Still that insecure boy before he left for military school. He feared that every time together would be their last. That the next time she would turn him down, saying he wasn’t enough. That he was too weak. Too boring. Too…

So he gave it his all. Striving to be the best she ever had. As if she had anyone else. Anyone but him. They both had problems. Problems neither of them knew about. He lived in fear of her leaving. That he was never good enough. And she lived in fear of staying. Staying together, staying in this school, staying alive. They both thought of themselves as lesser than they were. Each thinking that they didn’t deserve to be with the other. He thought that his broken piece didn’t fit with her perfect one. And vise versa. If only they knew.

Kentin had pinched her side, causing her to gasp and let out a breathy moan. Taking this opportunity, he slipped his tongue into her mouth, bringing the two even closer. His lips were chapped, as always. The teen had offered him her chapstick on multiple occasions, trying to give him some kind of hint. But alas. Teenage boys will always be dense in one way or another. 

The kiss isn’t passionate, but desperate. It was hard to differentiate the two, but Zainie could always tell. Could he? Did he know? That her heart wasn’t fully into it? His kisses were full of nothing but love. And hers just seemed to be foreplay.

She grew tired of kissing. It only reminded her that this was one sided. That she was hurting him. Even if he mistook it as love.

Zainie brought her knee up to his crotch. Teasingly feeling the reaction she had caused. His kiss faltered. The hand on her chest froze, and the fingers in her hair tightened, pulling so achingly good. He shuddered. A tell tale sign that he was into it. She smiled against his lips, pressing further into the bulge between them. He pulled away from her lips and looked into her eyes. Still red from earlier, but now they were clouded over with lust and mischief. The horny teen felt his heart ache yet again. 

“What’s gotten into you today? I find you crying and then you’re all over me. At school no less. Have you really missed me that much?” He smirked. His hand now in-between her legs. Rubbing her over her jeans. She threw her head back and stifled a moan, clenching her teeth. While she adored dirty talk, she didn’t much care for Kentins. It was always along the lines of ‘Do you love me? Let me hear you say it. Say my name. Louder.’ Or ‘You like that? Tell me how you feel. Tell me how good I make you feel. I wanna hear you say it.’ His insecurities shown through even if he did his best to hide them. But Zainie always answered. She told him how good he was. She screamed his name. She always had a retort to his questions.

But she wasn’t in it today. She didn’t want to say she loved him. She wanted an orgasm and to feel loved. So she took control, as she always did.


	3. Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was high thru half of this chapter,, can u guess which half? ;3c finally got to the good stuff, i feel like it wasnt long enough. maybe if someone want me to, ill write another smutty story.

His hand was still in-between her thighs. Pressing, rubbing. Zainie could feel herself start to warm up. Her cheeks slowly turning red, her underwear quickly becoming damp. If she let this go on he would start to feed her that unbearable dirty talk she disliked so much. 

She took hold of his hand, ceasing the movement between her thighs and lacing their fingers together. She slowly rose from off her back, guiding him to rest up against the concrete wall beside them. Their lips never once parting. She was now in his lap, grinding down on his dick. The teen did a particularly good roll of her hips, causing Kentin to break the kiss and throw his head back against the wall, letting out a deep groan that would make any high school girl wet.

Zainie took this brief moment to study his face. His eyebrows were furrowed, lips plump from their heavy make out session. His whole face tinted pink. His breathing was heavy and hot. They stared into each others eyes. Not paying attention to how long had passed. She took her hand and brought it up to his jaw, running her fingertips across the defined bone, watching her fingers trail down his face. Kentins hands had also started to wander. He delicately followed the curve of her back down to her ass. Giving it a soft squeeze before drifting to her thighs. He loved every part of her body, but her thighs had always taken first place. He pressed and pinched all over, appreciating its softness and elasticity. His lips drew themselves to her neck, craving to taste her, to feel her heartbeat on his tongue.

She reveled in his kisses. Took note of how he sucked and bit her neck, so she could remember it later when she thought that no one loves her. She reminded herself, ‘This is love. He loves me. This is what it feels like.’ The only thing better than sex to Kentin was listening to her moans. High pitched squeals when he pinched her, low quiet groans when he pressed himself into her. It was better than any drug, a bigger confidence booster than anything had ever given him. To him, hearing her reactions made him feel like he was worth something. Like he was worthy of her.

The two had no concept of how much time had passed, but they had figured it was lunch time now. Hearing the chatter of students in the distance only made them speed up their attacks on each other. The pink haired girl brought her hand down to his crotch again, feeling up and down its length. She could feel her lover groan and shudder against her neck. She let her fingers fiddle with the waistband of his jeans, toying with the button holding them up.

“Can I?” Her request was barely audible, but he heard her none the less. He broke away from her neck, admiring the reddish purple bruise he had created. Giving a grunt of approval he went back to work on her neck.

She made quick work of undoing his pants, pulling them down just enough to get to what she wanted. She ran her hand over the bulge again, this time being able to make out its shape over his underwear. His kisses were getting slower and sloppy. Kentin was never good at multitasking. She moved his underwear out of the way and tilted her head down to see. He was definitely hard, yeah. His dick slightly curved upward, something he was embarrassed about when they were first together. He was also worried about him not being… enough. But for a girl half a foot shorter than him, he was more than enough.

By now the horny teen couldn’t concentrate to save his life. And how could he? With the girl of his dreams holding his dick in her hand. She lightly grabbed ahold of his uncovered shaft, intensely watching the reaction on his face. He held his bottom lip between his teeth, trying not to let a loud moan out. Zainie slowly started to move her hand up and down his length, squeezing slightly every time she got near the tip. She paused, gliding her thumb across his tip. Smearing the drop of precum that had formed there.

Kentin hated being the only one being pleasured. He brought a shaky hand up to the button of her jeans, not being able to get it open. She had taken her free hand and popped them free, not wanting him to fumble with it for 5 minutes. Paying more attention to her technique, she angled her wrist, so that her thumb pressed firmly at the underside of his cock up and down with every thrust. He moved to gaze into her eyes. Giving her a look that was full of desperation. She loved to tease him.

She began attacking his lips again, making out obviously being her favorite. Tongues intertwining almost immediately. Kentin moaned into her mouth, letting her tongue run wild. She quickened her pace on his cock, slowly increasing more and more. At this point, her was calling her name. Repeating it like a prayer.

He thought back to her pleasure, and shoved one hand into her jeans. He wanted to rip them off, since they were so tight, but he didn’t want to push her. Taking his fingertips he teasingly rubbed at the bundle of nerves above her entrance. This caused her to detach from his lips and throw her head back, not being able to contain a loud moan. It was like angels singing. Hearing her reaction Kentin felt even more turned on that he thought he could ever be. His dick was twitching in her hand, obviously liking what he heard.

She could feel that he was on the edge. So she slowed her movements, wanting to tease him even further.

“You wanna come? Tell me how bad.” Zainie got caught up in the moment. She longed to hear his voice, shaky and pleading. At first he only nodded his head, not trusting his voice to talk. He cleared his throat.

“Please… Faster.” He begged. He hated begging, more than anything. He wanted to be the dominant one. But somehow, Zainie had always took control, toying with him until he was just moans and pleas.

She took his response and complied. Tightening her grip and speeding up her movement she smirked, watching her lover with lidded eyes. He clenched his teeth, breathing like he had just run a marathon. She pressed her chest to his, feeling his rapid heartbeat accelerate. Faster and faster. He was thrusting up into her hand at this point. She felt him twitching more and more, knowing the inevitable was coming.

“I’m gonna.. H-hah—“ His warning was cut off by a loud groan. Zainie quickly moved her head lower so that her mouth was engulfing his tip. She closed her lips around it and took as much as she could, letting her hand do the rest. Humming around his dick, she let him feel the vibrations. Then it all came crashing down. He grabbed a handful of pink hair, keeping her head in place while he bucked into her warm mouth, moaning her name over and over. She felt him cum into her, slowly filling her mouth with a warm sticky substance, letting it spread all over her tongue and around his dick. He couldn’t even speak anymore, just small breathy groans.

She released his cock with a pop. He looked at her with a blushing face, sweat glistening at his hairline. He almost came a for a second time when he realized that she had swallowed the whole thing. The grip on her hair loosened, merging into a loving touch rather than a pull. He just looked into her eyes for a minute, basking in the after glow of his orgasm. 

“You… You didn’t have to swallow…” He finally spoke up when his breath returned to him. She didn’t reply. The teen stood up and rebuttoned her pants and straightening her shirt. Kentin was confused for what seemed like the millionth time today.

“Hey, where you going? You didn’t finish.” Kentin spoke up with concern. How come she initiated this, but was leaving after only he got off? He stood up to stop her, but quickly fell back down on his ass. Of course. His pants were still at his knees and his dick was out. Pulling up his pants he got up to follow her. By now she had already put her backpack over her shoulder and had her sweater in hand.

“Sorry. I just remembered I have to meet Rosa after lunch.” She didn’t even look him in the eyes when saying that. Knowing he wouldn’t believe her. She just hoped he wouldn’t follow after her.

Kentin watched her leave, seeing the tears forming in her eyes. He wanted nothing more than to stop her and ask what was up. To hold her in his arms and tell her he was there for her. But he realized that she didn’t want to talk today. And as much as it hurt him, he respected that.

She had never planned on ditching him. She initiated this whole thing because she wanted to get off. But her feelings quickly changed. He definitely hadn't noticed, but she did. He wasn’t moaning out just her name while cumming into her mouth. He had also unknowingly said multiple ‘I love you’’s. It was the first time she had ever heard him say it.

Zainie was devastated. She realized that she couldn’t keep this up. How could she look him in the eyes? She could never reciprocate what he felt towards her. She knew she had to end it. But with the taste of his cum still in her mouth, she thought that this wasn’t the best time to break the news. ‘Hey, I just sucked you dick. I don’t love you.’ Yeah. Not the best time.

She ran past crowds of students, feeling all their eyes on her. He hair must have been a mess. Eyes red, tears on her cheeks, newly formed hickeys on her neck. It felt like everyone knew. She started running, which just caused more people to turn and look. She couldn't stand being in this school for a minute longer

She ran. Past glaring students and past the school front gates. Right into the parking lot. She sat on a curb. Hiding behind a truck just incase a teacher went looking for her. She sobbed into the sleeves of she sweater. Wishing she died at 15.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so? how was my first smut lmao. id appreciate any kind of comment ;3c


End file.
